Joy, Scars, Fear Part 2
by R.C. Cummings
Summary: The continuation of the behind the scenes look of when Emily's total past catches up with her. (It is a somewhat crossover with Rizzoli & Isles)


***Okay as always I own nothing of Criminal Minds or Rizzoli & Isles just enjoying using the characters.**

 ***A tip to add another dimension to your reading enjoyment. There are four places where I mention by name a song. If you youtube it, you will hear the music I was listening to when I wrote that section. It is really neat when you play it while reading the dances.**

Chapter One

"Derek we have to find Emily. The Ambassador is in Syria, and Lady Morticia is on leave because of almost being killed by one of her boyfriends, serves her right for breaking our brooding brunette's heart." Garcia said in one rushed statement.

"Hold on now baby girl you do not know that Dr. Isles broke anything. We are just finding out lot's about our princess former life. She is one complex lady and I do not believe Dr. Isles even knows how complex." Derek said trying to calm the colorful tech down.

"I know Derek but this is Emily. We've already lost JJ to another agency and now Emily is in the wind and I'm afraid she is really in trouble, bad trouble with all capital letters." Garcia said wiping tears from her face.

Over hearing Garcia, Hotch interrupted their conversation, "I have enlisted some help in getting information on Emily."

JJ walked in taking the remote to the overhead and started explaining what Emily's role was while working with Interpol as a profiling spy named Lauren Reynolds. She watched as a flurry of emotions flew around the room from anger to fear to pure confusion as to do they really know their friend Emily Prentiss.

JJ understood every one of those emotions and guessed her friends would feel the same if they truly knew what a lie her life had become. She had always wanted to be like Emily but now she understood her friend's protectiveness to keep her away from the life she found herself in. She whispered to the air, "Watch what you wish for," as she walked up to Garcia.

"JJ I've missed you so much." Garcia said wrapping her up in a smothering hug.

"Baby girl let the woman breath." Derek said smiling at JJ.

"I've missed you all too," which was the truest thing JJ felt she had said in months.

XXXXX

Emily was lost in her thoughts traveling to Boston. "I have to keep them safe. He is here in Boston and Maura is here. Pattie's in jail he can't protect her and Ian Doyle is coming after my family. God my mother's stupid picture, that's how this son of a bitch knows I'm alive, it has to be.

That woman is going to get me killed one way or another by ripping my heart out over Maura, hurting my chosen family or at the hands of a madman. Well it's him or me this time, winner takes all, time to face my greatest fear," these were the last thoughts as she gathered herself in that dark place needed to accomplish her task. She crossed into the city limits not as Emily Prentiss a good person and loved by many but as Lauren Reynolds a loner who was capable of anything and of killing whomever she needed to for survival.

XXXXX

JJ was pacing while her phone dialed Jane's.

"Rizzoli."

"Jane this is Jennifer Jareau."

"Hey JJ what's up?"

"Lot's listen I need a favor. I have to talk to you but I need you to call me on not such formal lines if you understand and please no mention of this to anyone including Maura. You will understand when we talk. I need you to call me from a burn phone to my burn phone it is important to those we love."

Jane was in the morgue and was going to have to think fast on her feet since Maura's head shot up at JJ's name. "Okay we will have to see if we can make that on the eleventh and don't worry about calling Maura she's right here so I will explain it to her."

"You are in the same room with her great, I'll expect your call at eleven and good luck explaining."

"Okay thanks JJ talk to you soon." She said ending the call.

Maura just starred at Jane waiting an answer to her unspoken question of, "What was that all about?"

Jane was trying to think and not looking at the M.E. but knowing her time was running out she still couldn't say anything.

"Jane what was that all about?" Maura grew tired of waiting an answer.

"Oh nothing really JJ and Garcia are just planning a get together for Emily and are trying to coordinate it so maybe we can join them." Jane thanked God she wasn't the one who broke out in hives when she lied.

"Why would we come to their gathering since none of them has bothered to answer one phone call in months?" Maura said upset.

"I know maybe they have just been swamped like we have with murder and mayhem. I just said we will see." Jane said hoping that would end the conversation.

Maura just shook her head, "Maybe your right."

XXXXX

Jane dialed the number given her from the small park she would eat her lunch in when she was a beat cop. The phone was answered on the second ring.

"Agent Jareau."

"Are you where you can speak?"

"Yes I am. Are you in a secured area?"

"I am. What's up with the James Bond crap JJ?"

She chuckled, "Emily is in Boston and has gone rogue. The team is preparing to leave in just a few minutes to come to Boston. This is a matter that I really can't give you many details on but I need you to get Maura out of the city until you hear from me again on this phone."

"JJ do I need to alert people?"

"No! Emily is there trying to protect us and I'm sure Maura but she's not reaching out to anyone. It's a big mess and Maura needs your protection without her knowing it is all I can say right now. I will call you when it's clear."

"Okay JJ but…." the line went dead before she could ask any more questions.

XXXXX

"Jane I am not going anywhere until you tell me what's going on!" Maura said in her Dr. Isles voice.

"With breaking news a car bomb has gone off in front of the Black Shamrock and an unidentified woman was shot and her body taken by the unknown gunman." The TV news announced as both women watched and Jane saw that the woman on the ground looked like Emily.

"Shit!"

"Language Jane. Oh my God that was Emily!"

Jane reached over to grab the blonde who was shaking.

"This is why you wanted me to go with you on that trip. This is why JJ called. What's going on Jane?"

"Maur I'm not sure. All JJ told me is that Emily had gone rogue and was trying to protect those she loved. She felt that you were in danger as well from whatever is going on."

"Jane I have to know what happens to her. I still love her."

"I know but we have to wait. JJ said she would call with the all clear. Her team is on the ground as we speak. We would only be in the way so just hold tight. I'm staying here tonight with you and Frankie is going to stay with ma."

"I will wait but I'm not leaving the city. I want to be close to her Jane. I want to know she's okay."

"I know Maur…I know." Jane said as she gathered her best friend in her arms.

XXXXX

(Thirty Six Hours Later)

Maura and Jane entered the emergency room's waiting area just in time to hear JJ telling the team that Emily had died.

"No…No…No! Habibiy!" Morgan caught Maura as her knees gave way from JJ's news and sat her in one of the chairs.

Jane came and sat beside Maura who was now wrapped in JJ's arms.

"She can't be dead I still feel her flowing in me."

"I'm so sorry Maura she lost so much blood." JJ said as her heart broke for this woman that loved Emily more than life itself.

"I want to see her."

"I'm sorry Maura but the Ambassador has forbidden any viewing at all." Hotch interrupted giving JJ some relief.

"Where is the witch I want to speak her?"

The whole waiting room was now focused on the M.E. who looked like she was going to fight this battle to the death.

Hotch almost lost his composure at the M. E. fortitude, "She phoned and has given orders of procedures concerning the care of Emily's body. She is trying to arrange a flight from Syria. I'm sorry I understand how close the two of you were but I have to insist on obeying her mother's wishes."

"How perfect she was barely present for her life and now she dares to torture her in death too. I am the Chief Medical Examiner in this state and I will see her body!" Maura said getting up to leave when JJ stood and caught her in a hug again.

"Maura please calm down. Go home I promise I will come by your house when I get out of here. We will talk but this cannot continue. Please." JJ pleaded with the upset woman.

Jane came over and took the M.E. in her arms. "Maur let's go to your house. You need to rest. You haven't slept in seventy two hours and haven't eaten much either. Come on we will listen to what JJ has to say and then you can take on the whole government afterwards if you want."

Maura lost her will to fight when Jane's arms engulfed her. "Take me home," was stuttered out between sobs. Jane just walked Maura out still in her arms knowing that the public display of crying was embarrassing her private friend.

Everyone in the waiting room's heart just fell ten feet lower than low at the sight of the sobbing woman that truly knew and loved Emily more than anyone on earth.

Chapter Two

JJ arrived at Maura's house at 1 am. She noticed the lights were still on which was expected. She knew this conversation was going to be tricky and hated the very thought of it. She sat in the car thinking of the whirl wind of lies that her life had become and just didn't know if she could go in there with the purest of love she had ever seen and lie yet again but knew she would if it kept her friends and family safe.

Jane opened the door before JJ could knock, "How are you doing?" she asked when she saw how pale the blonde looked.

JJ just rubbed her eyes and pinched her nose before stepping in and seeing Maura curled up in a ball on the couch and cringed at the sight and staggered backwards. Jane put an arm around the agent and caught her for fear of the woman fainting.

"Bring her to the couch while I get her some juice." Maura said as she ran to the kitchen snapping into doctor mode.

"I'm fine you guys it's just been a hell of a day." JJ said as she finally broke into tears for the first time. She knew beyond a doubt this conversation was going to break her or she would be winning an Oscar for her performance. Not trusting her legs any more she sat in the arm chair beside the couch not wanting to be too close to Maura as she spun her web of lies.

The M.E. brought her juice and sat it on the table in front of her, "JJ how many weeks are you?"

JJ's head popped up straight looking the doctor in the eyes, "How can you possibly know that?"

"There are signs I saw at the hospital but when you walked in I just knew. You need to drink this while I get you some toast. I know you haven't eaten anything today have you?"

Shaking her head no answering the doctor's question but still in shock that the woman knew she was pregnant. She herself had just found out herself only a week or so ago.

Maura handed the toast to JJ with orders to eat while she pulled Jane into the kitchen to talk.

"Jane if you like you can sleep in the guest room tonight. I'm going to take JJ with me so I can monitor her. This stress isn't good for the baby or her. We can talk about Emily in the morning. I know Emily is alive and I'm not just in denial either. I still feel her energy moving in and out of me strongly."

Jane just looked at her friend sadly thinking that grief was making her lose it but she knew that the doctor part of Maura was very much in control, "Maur I'll sleep in the guest room just encase either of you need me."

"Good, do you want to take a shower in my bathroom since most of your things are already there?"

"No I'll gather them up and shower in the guest room so you can get her to bed. She really doesn't look well at all," Jane said as she hugged Maura and turned to JJ and offered her a "Goodnight as well."

"JJ can you come and sit beside me please?" Maura asked patting the space beside her on the couch.

"Crap" she thought to herself as she moved over and sat by the M.E.

"I know this has been a very stressful day for you and I know I need and want to hear what you have to say about all of whatever this is but I will not risk your baby or your health so I want you to rest. I have Jane sleeping in my guest room. I am concerned about you and would like you to come and sleep in my room so I can monitor you through the night. We can talk about Emily tomorrow." The doctor hoped her request wouldn't be denied.

"Maura I'm not sure about this. There are things at the hospital I need to take care of."

"No JJ there isn't, Emily will not be waking up from surgery until around noon or so. They will have to keep her medicated for at least that long to see if there are any complications from surgery. I know the extent of her injuries they are as bad as when Jane shot herself. Actually they are worse due to the wood having more bacteria than a bullet."

"Maura, Emily didn't make it through surgery." JJ said pinching the bridge of her nose.

"JJ listen to me I know that you have to continue this rues but I know what I feel flowing through me and I know that I also feel Emily flowing around you and through parts of you that you let her. I know and will pretend from this moment on that she is dead for all of your safety but I want you to tell her that I know she is alive and am pouring all my love into her daily until she can come and talk to me safely. Keep her safe JJ and bring her back to us again."

JJ sat there dumb founded looking at the most amazing woman she had ever met next to Emily. She couldn't confirm Maura's statements because of her job but she had to know something, "How…"

"Emily and I are soul mates. When we let ourselves be open we feel and know things. When we connected again in D.C. we opened that gate back up but Emily closed it soon after and I'm sure it has to do with what you will explain to me tomorrow. It was opened again when she was in surgery because of being unconscious."

"Maura," JJ hesitated but continued "Can I ask you something?"

"Why didn't Emily and I get back together after D.C.? That's the question isn't it?"

Nodding her head yes JJ just sat with her mouth open as this woman read her thoughts.

"We both had careers in different places and we both had attractions to other people who we love dearly. We both knew that it wasn't the time or place to become physical mates again but we did reconnect our souls.

JJ it's not my place to explain this to you but I know my Emily and she will never open up to you about it and she is going to need you. She loves you and is attracted to you and has been probably since she met you knowing my girl. She will never tell you because of fear and the thought that you are straight.

I also know that both of you are in very dark places right now and you really need each other and I urge you to take the strength and wisdom Emily offers without fear. She knows how to protect and keep people other than herself safe. Jane is the same way."

JJ pondered Maura's words and asked, "Are you in love with Jane?"

"I do love Jane very much and our relationship could go that way but Jane is not as open minded shall we say to alternative life styles and right now she loves a man named Casey Jones serving in Afghanistan."

Shaking her head in amazement of how small the world was. "What does he do over there?"

"He is a Lt. Cornel and all his work is secret that is what I have been told. Now enough talk will you please come to bed and rest for your baby's sake if not for yours." Maura said standing up.

"Okay I have to go get my bag. Do you mind if I take a shower I hate hospitals no offense." She said heading towards the door. She noticed Jane standing on the stairs and wondered how much she had heard of their conversation but decided that was Maura's battle not hers.

"Jane how long have you been there?" Maura asked as she started for the stairs.

"Long enough" she said pulling Maura in for a hug. "I do love you Maur more than I have ever loved anyone. I just can't…"

"Shhh…. I know Jane and it's all good and I love what you are and can give. I just had to explain things to her. I get and understand you," Maura said tightening her arms around her friend.

"I'm going to go and watch for JJ and lock up. You go and take a shower in the guest bathroom I'll get her towels and send her to yours." Jane said slowly backing away with a smile on her face.

"Thank you Jane. Thank you for everything you are in my life," Maura said kissing her on the cheek as she went up the stairs.

XXXXX

Maura was sitting on the bed brushing her hair when JJ came into the bedroom from her shower and noticed how stunningly beautiful Maura was. Looking at the other woman she felt way under dressed in sweats and tank top seeing the silk midnight blue pajamas. She thought to herself, "You really have good taste in women Agent Prentiss."

"Which side of the bed do you prefer? " Maura asked looking up smiling.

"I'm not picky just exhausted."

"Well I will stay where I am then," she said while sliding in waiting for JJ to do the same.

Maura turned off the lights after she was covered up. Once the darkness filled the room it felt like it filled JJ's heart as well. She was exhausted but now that her head was on a pillow her mind refused to allow her peace.

Maura just laid on her back waiting for the dam to break in the woman beside her. She knew it would only be moments more and all the forced composer would fall away. She also knew JJ wasn't as hard as Emily and that the universe was churning butter of her insides.

JJ had slid into bed with her back to Maura trying to block out the fact the other woman was there. She thought about the hell and lies still yet to come. She thought about the woman beside her and how strong she was. Tears started flowing down her checks before she even realized they were escaping.

"JJ I know you're not asleep. I hear your tears. Emily will be fine she is strong and she is a fighter."

Turning over to correct the M.E. again by saying Emily was dead JJ lost her willpower once she looked into the woman's eyes full of love and understanding she could no longer contain her sobs.

Maura opened her arms up and JJ just laid her head on the woman's chest. Falling asleep where she was when the tears finally stopped. Maura kissed the young woman's head pouring all her love and strength into the gesture. She knew that whatever this was all about it was dark and dangerous and she just had to trust JJ to keep Emily safe.

XXXXX

"How did you two sleep last night?" Jane asked walking into the kitchen looking for coffee.

"She had a rough time at first but finally fell asleep. She woke up a half an hour ago and threw up. I'm taking her some toast and tea with ginger root in it for her stomach."

"How are you doing Maur?"

"Jane I really do not want to talk about it right now. I just want to help JJ and listen to what she has to tell us about this mess. We really need to know what to expect because I just know this isn't over with."

"Wow! Maura Isles is going with her gut. Are you breaking out in hives yet?" Jane said trying to lighten the mood.

"No I am not and that should tell you that I truly believe in what I'm saying."

"Maur I believe you and to be totally honest with you my cop gut is twisted in knots. I know what they say but I know you and trust you so I'm going to go with your gut not the FBI's paperwork. Let's hear what JJ has to say and figure out what needs to happen."

XXXXX

"Thank you Maura. I'm not sure what you put in that tea but this is the first morning that my nausea has totally gone away."

"You are welcome. I'll give you a box of it so you can order more for later." Maura smiled glad that JJ was feeling better.

"Not to be rude or anything but we really would like to know what the hell went on here." Jane said looking at the young blonde seriously.

JJ took a deep breath and started, "Emily joined the FBI and later was recruited into the CIA who filtered her out to Interpol because of her language skills. She was very successful in infiltrating cells and gathering information.

She was tasked to a long operation to find an Irish gun runner named "Valhalla" and infiltrate his operations no matter how or at what cost…."

Maura gasped understanding JJ's meaning of no matter what. She also knew this was the darkness she felt in Emily that the brunette couldn't share with her yet.

Jane took Maura's hand and squeezed it trying to convey strength to her friend.

"JJ how far was the infiltration?" Maura asked not really wanting to hear the answer she already knew was coming.

"You know Emily she became the job. She was Lauren Reynolds a dark and unrelenting person. She became so involved that Ian Doyle asked her to be a mother to his two year old son Declan.

Doyle is the man who shot Emily and who is now in the wind. Lauren Reynolds took down his operation sending him to a Korean prison for the last seven years. His son was relocated to the United States by Emily who staged the boy and nanny's death. The Koreans told Doyle that his son had been killed. There were pictures of the shooting that she took showing the two shot but in fact Emily had hid the boy out for his safety. Now Doyle knows his son is alive but no one knows where the boy is. That information died with Emily.

Doyle came to kill Emily but wanted to torture her first by killing those she loved. He managed to kill Jeremy, Tsia and Sean who were part of the Interpol operation that took him down. From what we have found out he was going to kill all of us at the BAU as well. I am not sure he was aware of you or not.

"JJ is Ian Doyle related to Patty Doyle?" Maura gasped again with the implications of Jane's question.

"Yes Ian Doyle is a cousin of the Mob Boss Patty Doyle but Lauren Reynolds was strictly doing the European faction of the family."

"JJ my biological father is Patty Doyle."

"I know. That is why I called Jane to get you out of the city the moment I pieced this all together. We believe now that Doyle has killed Emily that he will leave the rest of us alone since none of us knows anything about Declan."

"I understand what you are saying to me JJ. From this point on Emily is dead and I will be a grieving ex-lover. That is not hard to pull off since what you have told me grieves my heart beyond words and separates us once again. I will not speak of her until she is back in my arms. I ask that you remember what I told you to say to her for that is my heart. Remind her she is my habibiy always and eternally." Maura said as the tears refused to stop.

"Jane I just need you to make sure to take care of Maura that is what Emily would have wanted. Like I said I do not believe she is in danger at this point but I want her safe. I want you to keep the burn phone on you. I will keep in touch only via it. If you need anything or have questions contact me via the phone only."

"I will always protect Maur but this is some major crap JJ." She said running her hand through her unruly hair.

"I know it is a lot and I'm sorry I can only give you highlights of it all since we are still putting together Emily's life. We aren't even sure how Doyle even knew she was alive since her cover was iron tight."

"Oh my god!" Jane said as it hit her. "When we took down the insiders Patty Doyle had at BPD there were pictures of the BAU teams visit for the recruitment. We thought they were gathering information on Maura but there were a bunch of Emily in there."

"Emily's fear." JJ whispered.

"What?" Maura asked.

"When we came to Boston that time Emily had asked Hotch to excuse her from coming. I guessed later she was afraid of seeing you but in the hotel room before we even came to the BPD Emily told me that Boston held her greatest joy, a lot of her scars and her biggest fear. She admitted to me that you were her greatest joy, her mother was most of her scars, but I now believe Doyle was her biggest fear."

Maura's knees gave way as she fainted before Jane could react to catch her.

"Maur… Maur… honey wake up…" Jane gently patted her cheeks trying to wake the woman.

"Take her to the couch and elevate her legs. I will get her a glass of water." JJ said knowing what to do having lots of experience dealing with fainting victims' family members.

Jane had just placed her on the couch when she started coming around trying to sit up.

"Whoa there a moment," Jane said trying to get the woman to take it slowly.

"I had a vasovagal episode didn't I?"

"Yep you bit the linoleum." Jane said trying to lighten the atmosphere.

"I need water. First the evil from her witch of a mother now the evil from the family of my mob boss father. I can't handle this. I need to lie down for a while." Maura said standing up.

"I need to get back to the hospital to handle transportation of Emily's body back to D.C."

"JJ… remember what I said last night and tell her. Bring her back to me safely."

"Go rest Maur I'll see JJ off and be up in a few." Jane said hugging the fragile woman before she headed up the stairs.

JJ picked up her bag and headed to the door to leave when Jane stopped her, "JJ is there anything else we need to know?"

"I have told you everything I possibly can and with what you just told me maybe we have a new lead to catch this man. I will be in touch."

"Please keep in contact. We want to know everything and she will worry if you do not update us on your pregnancy."

"I will but I have to go now. Take care of her it's important." JJ said with honesty in her face.

"I will you have my word and I am truly sorry about Emily I know you to were as close as Maur and me." Jane moved in to hug the young woman, "Be safe JJ," she whispered in her ear before pulling away and closing the door.

Chapter Three

(Two Weeks Later)

"Commandeering an Interpol jet, profiling me, and compartmentalizing, JJ why didn't you tell me your transfer was a backstop?"

"Emily you know I couldn't and now I'm chasing a killer in the middle of it without my team. I feel out of my element." She said trying to explain the world she was living in.

"Profile like the team would JJ. You are one of the best profilers at the BAU you just never wanted the job. Think what would Hotch would do and go from there."

"I've missed you so much Emily."

''I've missed you too."

JJ couldn't contain the tears. Looking at the woman who's funeral she attended mere days ago placing a rose on the casket. She wondered if they did burry something but she wouldn't let that thought continue. She wondered still how she ended up at this moment and what whirlwinds still lay ahead.

"It's okay Jennifer. Come here."

Emily opened up her arms and the woman gladly laid her head on the older woman's chest. They stayed like that for several moments neither wanting to break the strength flowing to each other from the embrace.

"What is it about listing to a heartbeat that makes the world right itself for the moment Em?"

"Well for me it reminds me of the basic truth of possibility. It brings everything back down to the lowest denominator a single beating heart."

"You sound like Ried or Maura." She said laughing against Emily's chest.

Kissing the top of the blonde's head and laughing, "Maura is a very smart woman."

"I know that and speaking of her by the way, she doesn't think your dead for a minute."

"That's Maura, she is a scientist, to see is to believe."

"That's the truth. I had to go over her house and talk with her after your surgery. She was about to blow all the cover we were trying to set up. She demanded to see your body."

"That's my girl. I'm surprised you got her to leave the hospital without seeing me."

"Jane was there and helped convince her to go home and wait on me to come and explain. I went to her house and she told me to tell you that you are still her habibiy that she will pour her love to you daily until I bring you back safely to her arms."

She felt Emily tighten her arms around her and felt the warm tears falling in her hair.

"Em are you okay?"

"Yes."

"Maura told me some other things that we need to talk about."

Emily started to release her so they could talk but JJ stopped her from moving her arms, "No… don't move."

"Okay."

"I asked Maura why the two of you didn't get back together after D.C." She felt the shiver in the woman holding her.

"Maura told you that I had feelings for you."

"Yes."

A deep breath was blown out above JJ's head. "Dang Maura and her can't tell a lie thing."

"What?"

"Nothing… JJ I do love you. I guess am in love with you at times but I know your path doesn't include that type of relationship and I'm such a mess no one should have to deal with my crap so I compartmentalize my feelings trying to hide them."

Sitting up now JJ looked into Emily's eyes. "How long?"

Tears flowing down her face looking at her hands, "In some ways since we first met but mostly for sure after the Henkel case."

Lifting the woman's face to meet her eyes, "Emily I have fought my feelings for you for years, I just didn't think it was possible to love someone as deeply as I love you yet I love Will and my son but it's different. I can't explain and right now I'm too exhausted to think or reason it all out."

The tears and sobs came on fast. "Shhh… come here." Emily said pulling the woman once again into her embrace. "It's okay Jennifer… It's all good… shhh… just rest… I got you Blackbird."

XXXXX

(Two Months after Emily's Death)

"Hi Ma." Jane said taking a seat at one of the tables in the café.

"Hi Jane. Would you like some breakfast?"

"No I can't eat right now."

"Jane you need to keep up your strength. I know you are worried about Maura but she'll be okay in time."

"Ma, she sits on her lunch hour starring at a photo of Emily and her when they were kids. She will not speak her name or say a word about her. She just stares at the stupid picture. She's not sleeping."

"Jane people deal with grief in different ways it's only been two months since her soul mate died. Give her some more time sweetie."

Jane just hugged her mother and made a decision to call JJ soon and see what the hell was going on. They hadn't heard anything and both Maura's and her nerves were just about shot.

XXXXX

(Three Months after Emily's Death)

"Ageant Jareau"

"JJ its Jane and I'm in a secured location."

"Hi Jane"

"JJ we need information here. Not knowing anything is killing Maura and seeing her like this is killing me."

"Jane I still do not have any word on the situation but tell Maura these words. She will understand. Tell her "That Sister Kate still teaches the waltz to Doris Day."

Jane looked at her phone a moment and answered, "And barking dogs can't fly without umbrellas. What the hell JJ! This isn't "Jumping Jack Flash." Maura is hurting."

"I know it sounds crazy but tell her."

"Okay James Bond. By the way how are you and the baby doing?"

"Just tell her that Jane I have to go sorry." The line went dead.

Jane pulled the phone away from her ear and wondered if she entered the "Twilight Zone." She was glad she was only a Detective and not higher up because those people were just plain strange.

JJ hung up the phone on Jane as fast as she could. She whispered out a familiar prayer taught to her by Emily. "e lohai Adonai oz rei ni" (my God Lord help me) She starred at her phone with a tear running down her cheek. She was wondering how much longer those she loved would have to pay the cost of safety's lies.

Spence had been sleeping on her couch for ten weeks, Pen and Derek were withdrawing nightly investigating something, Hotch was grumpy, Rossi was sullen and no one spoke of Emily. It was like a bolder of grief sat on the BAU team.

XXXXX

(Paris Five Months after Her Death)

Emily sat in the Cathedral Notre Dame DeParis pondering the last year of her life. Reduced down to a single link to her past she felt she was buried in the casket in D.C. She sat with all the vast grey color pillars of stone around her. The echoes of tourist visiting the home of another era where all hope was viewed coming from these walls.

Lauren Reynolds was dead, Emily Prentiss was dead, and she had her choice of three new people she could be but who was she and would she ever be allowed to come back from the dead? Sitting there she felt entombed in a living grave and yet she wouldn't exchange a moment of the safety it provided for those she loved.

She realized she was a ghost. A ghost who communicated on the Ouija board of online Scrabble, she realized her mother's dream had come true a perfect silent daughter that couldn't shame the Prentiss name.

The last thought gave her courage. She looked up at the Rose window and vowed to all the Saints imbedded in the stain glass that she would raise from the ashes and live again she just wasn't sure under what name her Phoenix would be named. "I will one day live my life as my own mother and with the help of this army of Saints I will protect my loved ones from you!"

She walked out of the church and looked to the sky and said, "Ahhh, here's my church my temple my heaven." There was a clear blue sky with warm rays of sunshine that penetrated her skin to warm her being. She closed her eyes for a moment and breathed in the fresh air. She could've sworn the sun felt like secure arms wrapping around her in a loving embrace.

With her new resolve she started training again, running miles a day, profiling people from park benches and reading the entire world's news. Yet she still needed an anchor to prove she was alive so she broke the spy's rule of not ever writing personal things down. No spy was to leave proof of anything it was too easy to be compromised that way. She laughed at the thought but she needed to see ink on paper, something that was permanent that said she was there. Writing a journal was her way of documenting the insanity of the living dead.

Chapter Four

(Seven Months after Emily's Death)

"Rizzoli"

"Jane its JJ."

"Don't you even call telling me another one of your freaking mystery phrases. Four months of listening to Doris Day. Four months!"

"Jane listen I need you to…"

"No JJ unless it has to deal with Led Zeppelin which I can listen to for four months I'm not interested."

JJ laughing handed the phone over to her counterpart.

"Jane we need you to bring Maura to D.C."

"No one should have to listen to Doris Day for four months Emily."

"Why not she is hot?" Emily said smiling.

Jane paused and looked at her phone like it was from outer space, "Wait I'm on my regular phone and you are Emily right?"

"Yes Jane it's me I'm in D.C. We will explain when you arrive."

XXXXX

Jane and Maura were met by JJ at the BAU doors. Both were excited and yet had a lot of apprehension to what they might be told. JJ took them to the conference room and phoned Garcia to send Emily and Declan up.

Waiting at the door frame a moment Emily asked, "Are you going to slap me again, because a girl needs to be prepared?"

Maura flew from her chair into the brunette's arms. Tears ran down all five women's faces. The relief was tangible. Maura pulled back and looked into Emily's eyes with volumes being said. Then a gentle kiss that was meant for connection but grew and deepened into pure understanding of thanksgiving.

"Emily aren't you going to introduce Declan to Maura?" JJ said trying to bring the women back to the realm of matters at hand.

"Oh… yeah sorry," Emily said blushing. Maura this is Declan he is your cousin." She took the ten year old boy's hand and pulled him in front of her. "Declan this is Maura your cousin and a really good friend of mine."

"Hello Declan it's very nice to meet you."

The boy smiled but looked up to Emily for guidance. "Listen Declan Penelope is going to take you back to her office while we talk a while. Will that be okay?"

The boy shook his head and hugged Emily leaving with Garcia.

Maura watched the boy leave and looked to Emily and shook her head yes.

Jane looked at JJ, "That's just spooky how they do that." JJ shook her head in agreement.

"We need to get you set up in hotel rooms because the paperwork will take a day or two even with Hotch pushing all the connections he has." JJ said smiling at Maura.

"Jennifer they will be staying with me and Declan is going to stay with Hotch until the paperwork comes through for Maura to become his legal guardian. Hotch has been made guardian over him. I couldn't be since I'm not officially alive again yet."

"Actually Emily we got a hotel room already not knowing what was going on but we expected that Maura would be staying with you tonight." Jane said with a semi smile.

"Oh…okay but I insist on taking everyone out to dinner it's the least I can do." Emily said rolling her eyes hoping to put off explaining the last eight months of her life.

"That sounds like a great idea Em. I'll go and gather up the troops while you visit with Maura and Jane." JJ said leaving to go to the bullpen.

"Emily where does one go when they die?" Jane asked trying to break the silence that suddenly filled the room.

"Well I went to Paris for a while then I moved around trying not to be recognized by anyone. It's a lot like living with my mother now that I think about it." She half smiled and looked at the ground feeling exposed and sad.

Maura went and lifted Emily's chin and gasped at the guilt and shame she saw swimming in dark brown eyes. "Habibiy it's okay. I understand and its okay."

Tears flowed down both of their cheeks as they held each other.

XXXXX

"Maura do you remember Bonnie from school?" Emily asked as everyone gathered at the restaurant.

"Yes the brunette that was always trying to get my attention."

"Well you ladies don't have a type do ya." Garcia said with a chuckle.

"I beg your pardon I was never interested in Bonnie. She couldn't hold a candle to Emily and she couldn't dance." Maura said with a huff.

"I believe Penelope was just joking there Maur. I think you're a little tense with everything." Jane said to ease the tension.

"I'm sorry I just… well the girl was aggressive is all."

"Well it turns out," Emily started saying as she caught Maura by the waist to guide her forward, "She owns this establishment with her husband of ten years."

"I guess girls were a passing phase for her then."

"I believe that is the case habibiy."

Jane and JJ caught each other's eyes as the couple walked arm in arm into the restaurant. JJ made a mental note to check on Jane and her emotional status that seemed to be taking a few on the chin at the moment. She understood this since she was also feeling the pains of jealousy again.

"Emily… Maura my aren't you a couple right off the year book pages."

"Hello Bonnie it's nice to see you again," Maura said leaning slightly to hug the brunette.

"Emily dear I have the tables up front for you and your guests. Let me know if there is anything I can do to make your evening more pleasant."

"Thank you Bonnie everything is great."

Dinner was going along smoothly yet Emily could feel the mistrust and anger of her team still in the atmosphere around her. Luckily their tables were on the edge of a good size dance floor which held some of the entertaining duties which she was grateful for. They watched as some professionals did some numbers between the regular guests dancing.

The music stopped and Bonnie came to the middle of the dance floor and announced that two of her classmates from an all-girls boarding school were in house tonight. She turned towards them, "Emily and Maura will you do the honor of the Tango for us. No one can hold a candle to your Tango and before you say no I have the original record of the Flamenco Tango you won the championship with. Please say yes."

The crowd urged them on. They stood and smiled at each other. Emily took her jacket off and Maura straightened her dress thanking god she had worn a loser fitting dress than normal since she was traveling. They met for a moment looking at each other trying to see if they were in rhythm with each other thoughts.

Maura went to one side of the stage as Emily stood in the center with her head leaned down looking at the floor with her right leg slanted in front of her. Somewhere she had found a black fedora that she had pushed forward. Her red button up shirt very visible as the music started. The guitar echoing out its story while the drums started a beat of a march, Maura twisted and turned up to Emily. Pushing the fedora back making the woman in front of her look and see her beauty. They joined in twists and turns, lifts, and legs that moved with grace yet were very sharp and controlled in movements. The dance ended with Maura's right leg twisted around Emily's upper thigh and they were bent down with Maura in Emily's arms. Maura had one of her hands behind her partner's right shoulder and the other on her cheek with both of their eyes glued to the others.

The restaurant exploded in applause for the couple. They returned to the table to find everyone speechless fanning themselves and drinking cold water.

"Ladies I do believe you still could win the championship even today." Bonnie said handing Maura a rose.

"Wow Princess who knew you had it in ya." Morgan finally said breaking the tension.

"Well it has been a long time but Maura is an amazing dance partner."

JJ looked at Jane and noticed the brunette had downed her wine and was pouring another. She could see the visible discomfort the dance had caused the woman. She wasn't faulting Jane at all because it had left her with emotions to deal with as well.

"Well gang it's getting late I need to head home soon." JJ stated and looked over to Jane, "Do you need a ride to the hotel it's on the way to my house."

"Yes thank you JJ. I'm ready to leave whenever you are."

XXXXX

"I'm sorry we have to stay at a hotel. I thought they were turning the electricity back on today guess it's one of the draw backs of being dead." Emily said ushering Maura into their hotel suite.

"It's ok habibiy we are in a warm safe room together which is more than I thought possible this morning."

"Maura I know you want answers and I know all this is a lot…"

"Shhh come just hold me love."

Emily went to Maura and enveloped her with loving arms. She felt like the world had stopped spinning holding this beautiful woman. Neither one of them wanted to break the connection so they stood there for moments basking in the warmth and love of each other.

Maura's phone ringing broke the spell.

"Jane."

"No it's okay really. We will pick you up at…"

Emily showed her 9 fingers.

"at 9am." Rest well."

"Sorry about that but she will not sleep until she knows a time to plan around. She doesn't like to travel that much."

"That's okay. How are you two doing?"

"Nothing has really changed as far as we are concerned and that's okay. How are you and JJ doing?"

"That's a complicated million dollar question. She has been such a beacon of light these past eight months. She was the only line of communication I had to some sort of life that and the memories of our renewed connection."

Maura brushed Emily's cheek with the back of her hand, "I know you are hurting and I can feel how lost your feeling but I'm always here habibiy. I knew that JJ would be there for you. I am grateful she was a light to guide you back home."

"I love you Maura Isles."

"And I love you Emily Prentiss. Let's get some rest that dance was fun but I do not remember it using that many mussels when we were younger."

"Take a hot shower and I will massage the soreness out before we sleep."

"You do know the way to a woman's heart Ms. Prentiss. Yes indeed," were the last words Emily heard before the shower started.

Chapter Five

(Three Weeks Alive)

Emily was resting on her couch with Sergio. Thankfully Penelope had kept the cat unwilling to give up that part of her friend. The two were coming to grips of communing again when a knock on the door interrupted their solace.

Emily looked down at the cat, "You expecting company Serg one of your lady friend's maybe?"

The black cat looked up at her indifferently giving a meow of his disdain for the interruption to his rubbing time.

Emily reached the door as a second knock was growing impatient. She looked into the peep hole and took a deep breath before opening the door. "Jennifer what are you doing here so late?"

"We need to talk before you start back to work on Monday."

"Okay but right now at ten o'clock on a Friday night?"

"Yes!"

"Okay come in, do you want something to drink? She asked motioning JJ into the living room.

"No I'm good."

"Well I think I'm going to refill my glass I'll just be a minute." She said going to the kitchen to still her emotions and clear her head for this impromptu conversation. "I knew this was coming but I thought I had the weekend to rest and gather myself. Oh well hell hath no fury." She thought as she made her way back to the couch where JJ was now sitting rubbing a traitor cat who switches sides based on who is rubbing him the most.

Emily looked over at her friend to start the conversation hoping it wasn't what she thought it was.

"Em you've been back in America for over three weeks now and we haven't discussed Paris at all. We haven't talked about us and our working relationship. We haven't discussed Maura. "

Emily took a big swallow of her wine and watched JJ's reaction to the list she was sounding off.

"Okay Jennifer what do you want to discuss first and are you ready for the answers. I'm sure some answers will be incomplete given that I have only been alive again for a month now."

"Be serious Em. We are supposed to work together and act like all this didn't happen."

"No JJ when I walk back into that bull pen I will be faced with Spencer's puppy dog face like I sucker punched him, Morgan's face of distrust on everything I say and do, Rossi's face of pity but understanding, Penelope's face of glad your back but a hurt that lies just behind her eyes, and your face of friendship yet behind your eyes anger and jealousy…"

"Wait a moment Emily Prentiss …"

"No JJ you listen to me and then I will give you free rein to rebuttal everything I say."

She waited a moment to give the other woman a chance to agree to give her the floor of conversation. When nothing was said she continued softening her tone.

"Jennifer I am not blind neither is Maura we both saw the reactions to the closeness we were showing each other but we couldn't reel it in. We had just found each other again before this mess then seven months of hell. Her having to believe I was alive and me having to be in exile not even having Sergio there.

I went around for seven months pretending to be dead and parts of me did die. Then a phone call and it's like a defibrillator shocks me back into life and I'm in the chase to protect Declan again but now I have no trusted allies because I have lied about the past.

I know you are going to have repercussions from my fall out and I am truly sorry but you understand now don't you about forced lies to protect. So yes when I saw Maura I hid inside the love that is always Maura Isles.

Not that you will believe me we have not had sexual relations since boarding school. I know that Tango was sensual and sexy as hell but for us it was a reconnection only. We both haven't slept well in months so the very rest we got in each other's arms has given me the strength and courage to face all those faces I will see on Monday.

Maura will have faces of her own to deal with. Declan likes her but is still calling me three times a day just to ensure his fears are unfounded. Jane is all over the place in her emotions concerning Maura and Jane's family are an Italian trip.

Now to answer your first point about Paris, I do not regret a moment but I do realize this is D.C. not Paris. I realize that you go home nightly to a boyfriend and child that I have to accept that they aren't going anywhere but I also realize every ounce of emotions I have for you and they all equal out to love. I am on emotional over load of fear and excitement of what Monday holds.

So with all this said do not come into my home and start "we haven't" Jennifer because I have been right here for the past week and not a word. I have been right here wondering the same thoughts as you but I hold Sergio and you go back to a bed that doesn't hold my love. Now that is not a judgment or accusation but a fact."

Emily watched as all the anger and jealousy melted from the blue eyes before her. She looked and saw the transformation from indignation to guilt and tears.

"Em I'm sorry this has been such a whirl wind. I did get jealous of Maura and I know I have no right too but I can't stop it.

I learned to finally be you these past months. I go to work then come home and it's like one box. Then the night comes and I remember Paris and I open another box that contains the truth. I can't sleep so we play Scrabble till all hours. Then all of a sudden Hotch is telling me that the box of truth will be in front of me in moments.

I love you so much Emily and I am so glad your back but I hate to admit you trigger so many things that I'm not sure I can or want to deal with right now."

"I see so many things swirling in your eyes. You know I understand triggers. I also understand life has gotten messy for you these past months. Nothing seems real and everything is like a big role in some god awful play that a sick twisted person has written and you only get to see bits of the plot. I am here for you Blackbird always."

JJ leapt into Emily's arms when she heard her operative name "Blackbird," she buried her head in the crook of Emily's neck and breathed in the fragrance that she had longed to smell for months. "I've missed you so much. I'm afraid if I close my eyes I'll awake and you'll still be in Paris dead."

"Shhh…I'm here I'm not going anywhere."

"I lost it. I lost it Em."

"What did you lose?"

"I lost my baby in Afghanistan in that ambush that sent me to the hospital and back to the BAU."

"Oh honey I am so sorry," She said pulling the sobbing woman tighter into her arms.

"Can you hold me tonight?"

"Absolutely but what about Will and Henry?"

"Will took Henry to New Orleans for the weekend. Please I just need this box where it's just us. I need it to be Paris tonight Em. I'm hurting so bad. I just need you."

"Shhh…. You have me love. You have me."

Emily was glad the younger woman couldn't see her face at that moment for all that was running through her eyes was rage at her mother who orchestrated JJ's transfer in the first place.

Chapter Six

(Six Months Later)

"What the hell were you trying to prove in there JJ?"

"Keep your voice down Em please."

"No! Not unless you plan to start talking to me and stop shutting me out!"

"I had the situation under control."

"Yea I see that with a black eye and bruised ribs. Putting your gun down alone with an unsub is reckless Jennifer and …"

"Oh like going after Doyle by yourself wasn't reckless!"

JJ knew she had gone too far and cut deep when she saw the disbelief and pain in Emily's eyes but she wasn't going to back down. She knew that any step backwards and Emily would all but destroy the protective walls she had built around herself.

"I am going to let that pass for the moment. I am going to give you space for a couple of days due to the fact I know this case has triggered things in you that we need to discuss, like how tangled things are getting and how exactly they will affect your life. I am not blind but all the decisions are in your court right now but I will always be here for you "Blackbird."

JJ watched Emily walk away from the SUV and get into the other one with Morgan. She knew she had hurt the one and only person that could have helped her through the blackness which was seeping into her heart but she had Henry to think about. What were her choices going to do to him? Was she damaging her son like this mother who had a deceitful web between two men that caused many horrible deaths. Was she being fair to Will?

Tears flowed down her face in the back of the SUV. She bent her head against the window lost in thought again. "If Paris hadn't happened life would be easier and yet if Paris hadn't happened I wouldn't be alive and now it's time to make peace with the piper somehow."

XXXXX

Emily sat in the back seat and listened to Morgan and Reid chat about JJ's fighting abilities. Morgan was all proud at all the training he had spent with the blonde that had paid off in the fight with the unsub. She wasn't impressed at all; no she was actually getting angry. She knew that JJ was being reckless with her life showing signs of ptsd's but she couldn't share this information with anyone. She knew she needed help and there wasn't a sole to speak with except the one who needed the help.

Looking out the window watching the asphalt and concert fly by her window as the vehicle traveled down the freeway she had a flash back of sitting in the Cathedral Notre Dame DeParis feeling just as isolated as she did now.

She remembered looking at the Rose window and all the Saints in stain glass when the answer came to her. She knew that she would invoke the wrath of an out of control blonde but at this point peace is what she needed so she listened to Saint Francis and texted Maura seeing if she could come and visit for a couple of days.

Her phone buzzed back within moments saying "I'm always here for you habibiy. Text me the time you will arrive."

Emily smiled for the first time in over a month as the peace that was Maura Isles flooded her soul.

"Hey there Princess that's the first real smile I've seen on your face in over a month now. You hooking up with a hottie." Morgan said smiling a big grin.

"Profile me again there big man and I'll suggest to Garcia it's time for your annual shoe shopping excursion."

Reid looked out the window trying to keep from laughing.

"Ouch hurt a fellow why don't you there. No need to get all nasty with a brother."

"No I am not hooking up with anyone but I am going to go out of town for a couple of days if we are pulled off rotation this week. Do you think Garcia would mind checking in on Serg for me?"

"Probably not she hasn't spoken about doing anything but if she can't I got your back. I got to be a wingman for a smile that big. Go ahead and text who ever she is and tell her you are on your way." He said trying to get at Emily again.

"Keep it up there big man… keep it up," she said with a grin on her face.

She pulled her phone and texted "Flying in from a case in California have to be debriefed and will be told when we are off rotation. I'll text you later with my flight information. I've missed you habibiy."

XXXXX

"Maur we are supposed to go to the game on Saturday with Declan. You can't cancel. Jane said with a huff and a whine.

"I'm sorry about the ball game but Frankie can go with you and Declan."

"It's okay cugino (cousin) Maura. Madre (Mother) is coming in isn't she?"

"Declan who do you think is coming?" Jane asked puzzled.

"Emmy, I had a dream last night she was coming. She always comes when I dream about her."

Jane and Maura looked at one another with amazement.

"Declan honey you know Emily isn't your real mother." Jane said.

"I know she didn't give birth to me but she loves me more than anyone in the whole world. Do you think she will mind if I call her madre?"

Maura engulfed the boy in a massive hug, "I believe she would be honored to be called your mother and she does love you more than words can say."

"So when is she getting here?" He asked with expectant eyes.

"Her plane lands at noon on Saturday."

"That's why Uncle Frankie is going to the game in your place?"

"That is correct but she will be here when you get home from the game."

"Awesome, can I go see nonna (grandmother)?"

"Yes you can go to Angela's." Maura said smiling.

"Maur that child is something and his Italian is getting really good."

"He's like his mother in many ways," she said as she considered just what the two had endured for that bond to have taken place.

"I wonder what has brought on the whole calling Emily madre."

"I'm not sure maybe Frankie and you can do some investigating this Saturday."

XXXXX

"Pen where are we going this is not the way to my house?" JJ asked wondering what her friend was up to.

"You would be absolutely correct Gum drop. We are going to the Emisters to feed Sergio."

"Why are you feeding her cat?"

"Because she went away for the weekend and won't be back until Tuesday?" Penelope said with a questioning look. She couldn't believe Emily left without telling JJ where she was going.

"Where did she go?"

"I was going to pump you for information. My Chocolate Adonis said she was all smiles when she was texting setting her trip up."

"She went to see Maura then I assume." She said with a sour tone to her voice.

"Isn't that a good thing though? She hasn't seen Declan since she moved him in with Lady Morticia."

"Yea it's just peachy Pen."

"Okay Buttercup you are going to talk to me. You and Emily have been inseparable for months now and all of a sudden the last few weeks you act like she has the plague."

"What are talking about Pen?"

"Okay look not that it's any of my business and I was kind of happy for you two…"

"What are you implying?!"

"Well sweetness I was thinking Emily and you had something going on along the love interest area. I thought that maybe you two were going to get together since she was asking Derek to help her find a house."

JJ looked at Garcia with a shocked look. "She what?!"

"She is looking at houses Jaye."

"Pen I'm not even sure where to go with that or what to say. Emily and I are close friends and co-workers. Emily has a soul mate who she is visiting right as we speak and I have Henry and Will."

"JJ please do not insult me like this. I am your friend and I do not judge you in anyway but please be honest with me."

"Pen I do not want to talk right now."

"Okay I'm going to go feed Sergio and give you a moment to gather yourself but I want answers missy. You're like a bomb waiting to explode and I love you and I do not want to see any exploding JJ parts."

JJ watched Garcia disappear into Emily's building. She started sobbing remembering the conversation she admitted to Emily her worry that she would leave and move to Boston with Maura.

" _I'm here Blackbird… I'm here with you always. I'm not going anywhere. How can I get you to believe me?"_

" _Buy a house and I will be sure your hearts here."_

"Oh Em I can't keep doing this." She said to the air.

XXXXX

"Maura you look so good."

"I have missed you. I wish you would've let me pick you up from the airport."

"But then I wouldn't have be able to give you these," as she handed her two dozen multicolored roses that she had hidden behind her back.

"You are the charmer aren't you Ms. Prentiss?"

Emily smile and kissed the beautiful woman in front of her. "You tend to bring that out in me habibiy."

"Come let's get you settled in my bedroom and you can freshen up and change into something comfortable."

"Yes ma'am."

"Oh…if I'm not here when you come down I have stepped to the guest house to help Angela bring tonight's dinner over."

"Maura Isles you still amaze me at your love and generosity. Let me shower and change so I can come and bask in your beauty once again."

"Yes Ms. Prentiss you have lips of honey."

"Better to entice you with." Emily said as she pecked Maura's cheek on the way to the shower.

XXXXX

Emily found herself alone in the house after her shower. She poured herself a glass of wine from the bottle Maura had let on the counter with a glass and walked around the living room and noticed the baby grand sitting to the side. She started looking at the music and found Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonata" and started to play it.

She hadn't played the piano since Paris where she had picked it back up. The music flooded the house and her soul. She was so involved that she didn't even here Jane enter the house.

Jane was stunned at the beautiful music flowing from the fingers of Emily. She looked at the woman with pain in her heart as she remembered the joy of the hammers striking the strings releasing the emotions of her own heart. Tears started flowing down her face as she stood there rubbing the palms of her hands remembering the freedom in of the music.

Opening her eyes Emily noticed the brunette standing there. She remembered Maura telling her the story of Hoyt stabbing the Detective's hands to hold her in place and how she hadn't played the piano since. Emily smiled and motioned her over.

Jane felt like she was in a trance from the music and sat on the bench. Starting the piece over again Emily nodded for the woman to join her. She sat frozen for several moments until the deep tones engulfed her being and she timidly started playing the higher notes as Emily played the bass clef. Then shifting gears they stated playing the same piece just in different octaves. The sound was of a piano concert that Beethoven himself would have been proud of.

Maura opened her back door and stopped suddenly almost causing Angela to run into her. The two stood there transfixed at the sight and sounds of the two women playing the baby grand.

Frankie covered Declan's mouth as they came in the front door before the young boy could yell and break the spell of the music. He hadn't heard his sister play the piano in over ten years.

They finished the piece and both were wiping tears from their eyes as they noticed their audience doing the same. Emily engulfed Jane in a hug, "Scared hands aren't broken hands and even if they were, broken vessels can still be used. Never let him win my friend." She said as she took Jane's hands and kissed the scars.

"Emmy!" Declan yelled as he squirmed away from Frankie.

"Hey buddy."

"I haven't heard you play the piano in such a long time. I've missed it."

"Well maybe I can play it again for you while I'm here."

"We went to the Red Sox game and had hot dogs. Uncle Frankie and I had beers afterwards."

"Frankie?!" Angela said giving a look of disbelief.

"Hold on Declan you are going to get me into a heap of trouble." Frankie said holding up his hands in front of him in a defensive move against his mother's look of horror.

"I had root beer. Got you guys." The boy said laughing as he ran and hugged Emily tight, "I love you madre."

Emily looked up at Maura who was smiling and mouthing, "I'll explain later."

"I love you too buddy more than words can ever express."

He pulled back looking her in the eyes, "That's what Cugino (cousin) Maura said you would say, so it's okay for me to call you madre?"

"I am honored that you want to call me madre." She said with tears flowing down her face.

"Uncle Frankie why do women cry so much?"

The whole room erupted in laughter. "Come on dude let's go play catch out back before we get into real trouble." Frankie said ushering the young boy out the back door.

Maura looked to Jane who was recovering from playing the piano, "Did you find out what the whole mother thing is going on with him?"

"Yes he has been getting heckled at school about who his parents are. He asked one of his friends what made his mother basically his mother and his friend said "That it was because his mother loved him more than anyone else in the whole world." This made Declan come to the conclusion that Emily was his mother because "she loved him the most in the world" as he put it. He decided to tell the kids his dad was dead and he didn't really know him."

Emily's knees buckled out from under her and she sat on the floor as Jane's words penetrated her heart. Never in a million years did she expect to hear a child say that about her.

Jane caught Angela's eye and motioned her into the kitchen to finish dinner while Maura went and sat in the floor beside Emily.

"Penny for your thought's habibiy?"

"Maura even with all the languages I know I still can't articulate my emotions at this moment."

"I know love but you deserve the title of madre. You have protected that boy and his future as if he were your own and with your own life."

Emily just looked at the woman in the floor with her, "Still I never thought I would ever be called "mother."

XXXXX

JJ watched Penelope walking towards the car and wished she could beam herself anywhere else but no she was here in the line of fire from her best friends inquiries.

"Okay Buttercup the Serg is feed and petted for the day. How about we get some coffee and you tell me why your eyes look like a hangover from a Grateful Dead concert."

"Pen I love you let's get coffee but I'm not going to guarantee information."

"You have been hanging around the Emister to long. Getting just like her with all your boxed up secrets." Garcia said as she pulled out to find coffee. She knew the young blonde couldn't resist her addiction.

"Bribery will not get you anywhere Penelope Garcia." JJ said as she was handed a tall coffee ordered perfectly to her taste.

"Oh but I have just tripled my chances though haven't I."

"You're bad Pen."

"Okay I get this is all personal, I get that the FBI has fraternization rules, I get that this is complicated but talk to me. I promise my lips are sealed. I know when to talk and not to JJ."

"Pen, Emily and I have always been close and always flirted with each other like Derek and you. It's what gets us through some days."

"I know but you two seem closer now than before she died."

"We are…" She couldn't stop the tears from flowing again. She looked up to the sky, "Why does everything have to be so damn hard?"

"Buttercup you need to talk to someone just like Emily needed to talk to someone so she went to Boston."

"That's where all this started, in Boston with Maura Isles!" She said angrily.

"Where what started?"

"The night I told the team about Emily's death I went to Maura's house to try and calm her down because she was going to blowing the cover story. She didn't believe for one moment Emily was dead and told me that Emily had feelings for me as in loved me."

"Well honey I could have told you about Em's feeling for you a long time ago. She just respected that you were straight even though you teased her to death with your flirting."

"I did not tease her. She's the one who told me to go after Will or she would."

"Think about that statement now JJ. Have you ever seen Emily on a date? She was like the rest of us, tired of you sneaking around hiding Will. She wanted you to be free and honest with everyone."

"Whatever… I confronted Emily about her feelings and we were in such a raw emotional atmosphere with everything that happened. We both let our guards down and just went with our feelings. I was so drained from having to lie to everybody and she understood. She always understands everything."

"Do you love her?"

"I do Pen but it's different. I love Will and Henry too and I have to do what's right for my child."

"So you think ignoring Emily and treating her like crap is the best thing for Henry?"

"No of course not but Henry needs a father."

"Have you told her that? Have you even given her a chance to respond to this?"

"No."

"Emily is a thoughtful caring person who probably wants the best for you and Henry and will sacrifice her own needs to make that happen. Talk to her before this becomes a mess missy."

"Your right Pen, I'll talk with her." JJ said and was very thankful she got off just telling the bare minimal of information. She didn't need Penelope digging into things, there were still lies out there protecting people and tormenting her nightly.

XXXXX

"Declan is growing up so fast. He is really grasping Italian.

"bene si prende dopo la sua madre (Well he takes after his mother)." Maura said smiling pulling the covers down on the bed.

"I knew you would be good for him habibiy."

"It's not just me. We speak Italian a lot around the house and he has a French class at school."

"votre belle mon amour. (Your beautiful my love.)'

'lèvres de miel.' (Lips of honey)

'mieux pour vous séduire.' (Better to entice you)

'viens permettez-moi de vous tenir.' (Come let me hold you.)

'nous pouvons parler demain.' (We can talk tomorrow.)

Chapter Seven

"Emily why didn't you tell me you were going to Boston?"

"Because I didn't want to argue with you and I needed some time away from D.C."

"You mean you needed time away from me," pinching the bridge of her nose.

"I didn't say that. I needed to see how Declan was doing and yes if the truth be totally out there I wanted sometime away to think about what I'm doing with my life right now."

"When were you going to tell me you were looking at houses?"

"The Queen of All Knowledge of Quantico strikes again." Emily said shaking her head and chuckling to herself. "Jennifer I was going to tell you the moment I signed on the dotted line so I could prove to you where my heart is but lately I have wondered where your heart has drifted to be honest with you."

"Em, Pen knows about us to a degree. She drilled me on Saturday about it and if she knows we have to figure Derek knows and then the dominos continue to fall as I'm sure Hotch and Rossi suspect."

"That's not an answer but I get that you are scared. I get that you do not want to lose your family or job and that's okay. I have decided to continue to look at houses for the moment not to prove anything to you but for me. I realize I have to move forward for myself JJ and if you come with me then so be it. I'm tired of still living like a ghost, neither here nor there."

"Is this what you and Maura talked about while you were in her bed?"

"JJ?!"

"What Emily you are not going to tell me again that nothing happened between you this weekend. Remember I know how passionate you are and I've seen how the two of you look at each other and I just can't believe nothing happened."

"How dare you even accuse me of anything, I'm not the one who leaves one bed for another. I have never asked you to leave the other bed even though it kills me every time you leave me in the dark to go to his arms. I have not slept with anyone but you in seven years. I do not invite people into my bed on a whim and no Maura and I didn't make love this weekend. I will admit it is growing harder not to but it's still not time."

"Right! Why is it not time?"

"Because Jane is pregnant and the father is out of the picture so she asked Maura to help her raise the child with her. They might have a chance at a family so I will not jeopardize Maura's opportunity of having a stable family in Boston. I can't provide that for her right now and we both know the moment our relationship turns to the physical again there will be no going back."

"I'm going to be sick." JJ said running to Emily's bathroom to throw up.

Emily followed holding the blondes hair as she gave way to her stomach's will. Running cold water over one cloth she put it on the young woman's neck and gave her another wet cloth to wash her face with.

"I'm sorry my stomach has been getting upset lately."

"Jen are you pregnant again?"

"I go to the doctor in a week but I think I am."

Emily turned and headed for the door, "I'm happy for you. Henry needs a sibling to play with."

"Emily please stay. Do not shut me out. Please talk to me."

"Jennifer what's there to say, you come over here and ask me when I'm going to explain myself while you haven't said a word of planning another child with Will."

Emily went to the kitchen and poured herself a glass of wine. She couldn't believe the course of her life at the moment. She felt like she was Emily Webb in Thornton Wilder's "Our Town" like she was still dead and revisiting her past life where the people she loved could only speak past phrases. Was she supposed to just respond the same way like she did when Henry was born, "Congratulations I'm so happy for you and Will?"

She drank a big swallow of the red pain killer that was useless at this point. She thought back to the play how Emily Webb was warned by other spirits not to return to the past that it would only cause pain but she didn't heed the warning. She wondered if the warning was true for real life as well.

"Emily I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I'm not sure how to live my life right now. I love you so much and yes I'm jealous of Maura Isles because she could give you everything I can't. I can't be her."

"I do not need you to be Maura I need you to be Jennifer but right now I need time to think please leave."

"Em?"

"I love you Jennifer and I will always be here for you but I need space right now. Please go."

XXXXX

" _Derek there is a crack in the foundation."_

" _Emily that can be fixed you just sound like you do not want this."_

" _Am I crazy most people would give anything for this chance?"_

" _You got to go with what your gut says."_

Emily sat in her condo and replayed the week's conversations and events one by one.

" _Come run the London office of Interpol."_ Clyde Easter had offered.

" _It's our story of sixty years."_ The woman said sitting by her husband surviving the bomb in the bank.

" _How did you do that?"_ Will asked after she had cut the yellow chord that stopped the bomb from blowing both of them up.

" _I think I miss you already."_ Derek said at JJ wedding to Will the very next day knowing his partner was probably going to accept the Interpol job.

" _Habibiy you will know what to do. The answer always comes when you need it love."_ Maura had said just the past Sunday when she had laid all the issues facing her life.

Emily knew as long as she was in D.C. that JJ couldn't continue her story with Will happily. She thought that coming back to her life would help heal them both and it did for a while but now she realized she was nothing but a hindrance to the one she loved so much. It was time to move on to the next phase and push JJ out of the nest and into her own story of life. She knew as long as she was there JJ would fall back on her and she loved the woman so much that she would always allow her to.

Decision made now she had to call Maura and tell her she was leaving for London to work for Interpol again. She knew this conversation was going to be hard but she had to find her life.

Chapter Eight

"Emily it's nice here but it's not D.C. where your family is."

"Pen I have to do this. I have to move on."

"She is just scared Em."

"Pen I'm not going to discuss JJ."

"She loves you more than anything. She just got scared with all the stuff that happened."

"Pen a change in my life has been coming for a while now and fate showed me my next step. She's married now and she didn't even say good-bye."

"Baby girl leave Emily alone. She knows what she needs and she knows we are always a phone call away." Derek said pulling his ex-partner into a good-bye hug.

"I know I just hate change and I'm going to miss you so much."

"I will miss you to Penelope but I promise to keep in touch." She said pulling her colorful friend in for a hug.

"You better I can still mess with your credit scores missy."

They all laughed at that.

"Thank you guys for all the help in moving. I love you both so much and know you will always be my family. I just have to find myself again."

XXXXX

"Maura we haven't talked about Emily moving to London." Jane said trying to get her friend to focus on something besides her losing the baby.

"There's plenty of time for that when you get out of the hospital Jane."

"I hope when I get out of the hospital I will be going back to work." She said with a mock smile.

"Jane the only place you are going to go is to my house to recover."

"I know but you can't blame a girl for trying, so about Emily moving to London?

"She was offered a very important job running the London office of Interpol."

"But I thought she was happy with her job at the BAU and whatever happened between her and JJ?"

"Well JJ married Will after the terrorist attack on that bank in D.C. Both Emily and Will were almost killed. She made her choice so Emily decided to go and regroup in London."

"That's wild Maur. I hate to say this but my gut says there is more to this story and I really do not believe it's over between those two."

"I can't really say but I know Emily is hurting. JJ quit talking to her the moment she found out Emily was leaving. She didn't even say good-bye to her before she left for London."

"Ouch!"

"Yeah it was cold but Emily said it was okay that JJ was just hurting and trying to deal as best she could."

"How are you doing with the move?"

"I am sad that she isn't closer but I think I'm going to plan a trip for Declan and I to go see her next summer. You are more than welcome to join us if you like."

"Me fly for hours over the ocean? You are funny Maur."

"Jane we can go by boat to Kent then a train up to London."

"Me on a boat for days in the middle of the ocean, you have lost your mind."

"I get your point. Declan and I will travel alone."

"Okay when am I getting out of here?"

"There's the Jane I know and love."

"Shut up." Jane said with a smirk on her face.

XXXXX

(Fourteen Months Later)

" _Emily where did you come from?"_

" _JJ your freezing."_

" _They tried to break me to give up the code."_

"I'm hallucinating." JJ said to the air.

"Pull her up." Askaryi said.

The man pulled the chains lifting JJ's arms above her head again.

XXXXX

"Prentiss."

"Hotch what's up"

"Brief me on the plane."

Hours later Emily found herself walking into the conference room of the BAU and hears, "Who is Blackbird?"

"It's JJ" She told Garcia.

Derek was thinking it was like déjà vu but this time it is Emily briefing the team on JJ and not JJ briefing them on Emily. He wondered if he truly knew any of his team members.

Garcia pin pointed JJ's location and the team was on the move to free her from her captors.

XXXXX

Emily opened the door and JJ was before her with Askari holding a knife trying to kill her. Hotch fired and the man dropped dead. Emily moved to free the bound woman.

"You came I knew they would call you." JJ said to Emily as the brunette freed the woman's hands and feet.

"Go help Cruz." JJ said pointing to the man on the floor.

Emily went to Hotch who was helping the man who had been stabbed.

"I got him. How is JJ?"

"She's gone."

"She's gone after Hastings it's personal for her." Cruz said.

"Go after her I got Cruz." Hotch said as he tried to assist the man up.

Emily caught up with JJ on a lower part of the roof where she was in a gun fight with the man who caused the explosion that caused the miscarriage of her child. Hastings went up a ladder to the top part of the roof with Emily chasing him and then blitz tackled the man once there.

He recovered and landed a punch that knocked her down to the ground. JJ came flying in landing kicks and punches but they were too close to the roofs edge and they both fell over the ledge but her hand was caught by Emily who pulled her to safety.

XXXXX

"Emily"

"Shhh…. I got you Blackbird… I got you."

JJ pulled Emily in so tight even though her ribs protested. "I'm so sorry…"

"Shhh…. No words are necessary."

JJ pulled back and kissed the brunette with all the love she had stored in her heart over the months of separation. They only parted when air was required. They walked to the ladder and Emily started down first so she could be a buffer for JJ just in case.

XXXXX

"JJ your being an ass again," Penelope said as she washed her hands in the sink of the bar's bathroom that the team had gathered in to celebrate getting her back.

"Pen I'm not trying to be. I'm just not sure what to say. She's here. She came."

"Well thank you works for a starter. She loves you and she's Emily of course she came. You are running out of time to talk face to face with her. Don't blow it!" the colorful woman said leaving before she could answer her back.

XXXXX

"Emily how much longer do we have you here?" Rossi asked.

"Six hours."

JJ heard the answer as she was kissing Will for the twentieth time it seemed. She knew she was over killing the issue but was at a loss of what to do. She noticed Garcia talking with Emily and laughing when the Gloria Estefan song "Get on Your Feet" started playing.

She laughed as she watched Pen trying to pull Emily on the dance floor just like the last girls night they had before she moved to London. JJ remembered Penelope paying for Salsa dance lessons and having to get Reid to baby sit.

Emily should've known better than promise to dance with Pen after the woman had drunk 5 green fairy drinks. She couldn't help laughing at the memory of the brunette's face when Garcia shook her boobs trying to dance sexy and tripped causing both to fall with Pen landing on Emily with her boobs in her face. She watched as Emily shook her head adamantly "no" at Penelope who was begging still trying to get her on the dance floor to no avail.

She leaned over to Will, "I am going to stay here for a while do you mind picking up Henry?"

"Sure I'll get him and see you at home." He said as he made his good-byes.

Once Will was out the door JJ made her way over to the two women who were still laughing.

"What's so funny?"

"We were laughing at the memory of our last girl's night where we drank all those green fairies and I ended up with my girls in Emily's face on the dance floor."

"I love you Pen and I am a big fan of boobs but your wonder bra should really have a trip warning. It should read do not drink alcohol while wearing due to the possibility of off balance shift loads." Emily said with a smirk on her face.

"Well I don't have to take this I'm going over to my Beef Cakes who appreciates the wonder in my bra."

Emily and JJ both erupted in laughter. Penelope was always good at breaking tension.

As if on cue by fate their song "If I Lay Here" by the Snow Patrol started playing. "Em would you dance with me?"

She looked at the blonde before her and closed her eyes in debate but she knew she could never deny a request from the younger woman. "Yes," was the simple answer given as she took JJ's hand and led her to the dance floor.

"I'm so sorry I…"

"Shhh… Please I need this moment to be Paris."

Looking into brown pleading eyes JJ understood and curled into the brunette not caring who saw her at that moment for they both needed it to be Paris to heal. For in just hours the world would become real again and Emily would be in London and she would be on a case at the BAU.

 **Thank you for reading. This is my first work of fan fiction so I wrote it in word and uploaded it. That is the reason for the continuous chapters, my apologies.**

 **There will be a third part to this story; however, the title will change to Joy, Scars, Love. The last part is a work in progress and may take a few weeks to finish and up load so be patient I promise the third part will be worth waiting for. There are a lot of twist and turns yet for are beloved Agent Prentiss.**

 **Oh and I would appreciate any feedback even if it is correction because that's how we grow as writers.**


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